Dimly Aware » On Cinema

On Cinema – Idiocracy Tale of Things To Come?

Marc McDonald — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 01:06:00 +0000

Some time ago, I recall studying evolution in my Archaeology classes in college. Certainly a fascinating subject, but one that brought on more speculation from me. If natural selection is really the process by which a species changes and adapts, then how is natural selection still at work today? Of course, I think in most populations, it still plays its role. That is to say that plants and animals are doubtless still subject to the course of natural selection. This is evidenced by bacterial strains that adapt to be resistant to antibiotics and such. Naturally, the species with the shortest life cycles will exhibit selection for mutations the fastest.

What I wondered about then, and indeed now, is about the slow influence of natural selection on species with longer life cycles…namely humanity itself. Is it possible… that natural selection would be brought to a standstill by modern science? I mean, if we no longer die (or, more accurately, cease to reproduce) because of mutations, how would humanity ever select for those without certain traits? Being nearsighted brings this to mind. Much of human kind is nearsighted, and given true natural evolutionary pressures, a species would not have this problem, because subjects with such a disadvantage in the wild would doubtless die before reaching reproductive maturity. Of course, with modern science and healthcare, there is nothing life threatening about nearsightedness, so many go on to reproduce. The result is that nearly 30% of the population is nearsighted.

These were simple, vague wonderings from years ago, and nothing I took very seriously. Of course, bringing us to the “On Cinema” portion of this post, now I wonder if maybe natural selection could have a more sinister course in mind for humanity after seeing the film Idiocracy, by (ironically) Beavis & Butthead creator Mike Judge.

The film is a comedy, ostensibly, but watches more like a horror film to me, depicting what happens when an “average” human specimen from 2005 is frozen and awakes in the year 2505 to find he is the smartest man alive. The world is overrun with stupid reality TV, corporate consumerism, and an over-sexed, dumbed-down populace. Nothing works, the infrastructure is rotting, and the president is a former American Gladiator-type TV star. There is a new “dust bowl” scale crop failure, since the Brawndo Corporation has decreed that it’s Gatoradesque drink should be used to water the nations crops (“it has the electrolytes that plants crave”), and has purchased the FDA in order to rewrite the food pyramid. Hospitals have stoner doctors, that prescribe treatments using an oversimplified push button screen with pictures of people vomiting and giving birth to select from. People seen trying to read words are labeled “fags,” and anyone speaking with any sense of eloquence is seen as femmy. Everyone loves the sight of someone being kicked in the balls (the most popular TV show is entitled “Ow! My Balls!!”), and the winner for Best Screenplay is a movie that simply shows an ass farting on the screen.

Yes, it’s silly. Yes, it’s funny. Yes, it’s hyperbole. But I’ll be damned if the depiction, at the start of the film, of how natural selection could lead to just such an occurrence didn’t bring shivers to my spine. The flow chart, comparing the reproductive rates of two intelligent persons with the rates and subsequent genetic spread of the trailer trash couple, was one of the most horrifying calculations I have ever seen depicted on the silver screen! Soylent Green? Ha! If only the future was such a rosey picture!

Damn you all to hell! You’ve finally done it!!

On Cinema – Where’s the Outrage?

Marc McDonald — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 20:32:00 +0000

Okay, so I recently read a blurb about how The Golden Compass was nominated for two oscars, one for Achievement in Visual Effects and another for Achievement in Art Direction. Of course, winning will require that it beat out the likes of the Pirates of the Carribean franchise and the Transformers mega-phenomenon. I’m mostly waiting to hear the outcry from religious groups that the academy would support such a blasphemy. You see, The Golden Compass was neatly trounced, at least domestically where only 20% of it’s total box office dollars were made, by the Catholic League upon it’s initial release. Obviously, foreign audiences aren’t as culled by the church as their American bretheren.

Clearly this is godless cinema.

I have to say that I’m holding my breath to see some news coverage about the bias of the Narnia series. There’s another one coming out soon, as if the first wasn’t bad enough, I think it’s called Prince Caspian. I can’t wait to hear major media outlets heaping scorn on it for subversively trying to make our kids believe in god. Ha! That’ll be the day!

Actually, from what I’ve heard, Prince Caspian is actually one of the least allegorical C.S. Lewis’ Narnia novels, but I’m sure the Religious Right will use it… as a brainwashing tool nonetheless. Evidenced by this cover of a Christian magazine, which has the gall to speak about a fantasy novelist as a purveyor of the “truth!” Nice.

Well, I’m sure this will be ignored, and Atheists will sit by quietly as the Catholic League shows off their hypocrisy to blind masses. Ironic, I think, that this demonstration of the ‘golden rule’ will show so favorably for the godless. Of course I can’t resist , in an article so filled with “golden” things (rules, compasses…er…compii?), giving a ‘Golden Sheep Award‘ to the American Moviegoing Public. Good of them to so dutifully obey their church overseers.

On Cinema – Helena Bonham Carter

Marc McDonald — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 21:57:00 +0000

I recently had the dubious pleasure of watching Tim Burton’s new attempt at adapting Sweeney Todd into “Edward Scissorhands II: Edward RAZORhands!” I guess Burton’s style isn’t a bad thing, I’m into dark. I’m ‘hip’, as the kids say. What bugs me is the total lack of effort put into his style. He simply takes exactly what he did in a previous film, tweaks it a titch, gives it new dialogue, and calls it a different film! This style of Hollywood creativity is exemplified by the lovely, dark eye-circled Helena Bonham Carter.

My theory is simple. The chameleonesqe Helena, rushes out of filming one movie, ruffles her hair in a different direction, changes her dress (or not) and films her next blockbuster!! You think I’m crazy?!? HA! That’s what they ALL thought! I give you……EXHIBIT A:

So….here it begins, with an innocuous bit of Shakespeare, as it all too often does! Wait…does it? Well, never mind, anyway…we should have known better when Mel Gibson (a.k.a. Lucifer) was involved with it. Now watch as a little more eye makeup and a black dress makes her….

Ha! Ophelia turned Marla (both end with “a”…coincidence? I think not!) with the spritz of hairspray, and a change of wardrobe! Sure Fight Club is a great film, but that’s beside the point. We’re talking about Miss Carter duping the world into thinking she’s Best Supporting material! Now check out this:

She didn’t even bother to change costumes between those roles! The gall! The only thing missing is the cigarette, and I’m sure she pushed for it, but J.K. wouldn’t hear of it. Now:

Note the sunken eyes, the pallid skin, the sickly demeanor! What could possibly explain such a cookie-cutter performance? Only one way of looking at it….only one possible explanation. Tim Burton, puppet master! (cue musical sting)

Of course, it’s all so simple. Burton controls the lovely and anemic Helena Bonham Carter’s every move. She is Lambchop to his Sherry Lewis. She is Charlie McCarthy to his Edgar Bergen. He has slipped his oh-so-creatively-dark little fingers around her strings and he has her dancing like a dead football player dances to ‘Jump in the Line!’ (Okay, that’s the wrong movie, but you did notice that Winona Ryder is just another HBC clone in that film, right?) Well, if you doubt the puppet theory, you will never be able to wrap your mind around…….this!

Good day!

On Cinema – Netflix Top 100

Marc McDonald — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 21:47:00 +0000

Okay, so I don’t claim to be the epitome of art house snobbery, but Netflix Top 100 pisses me right off! Let us say, hypothetically, that we are given the ability to watch any movie ever made at a moment’s notice. What film would the masses choose? Perhaps they would insist on scrutinizing a film legend, Like Citizen Kane? Maybe they might review the films of Stanley Kubrick? Maybe they would go back and search the vast catalogues of history and find an unseen gem?!?

No, gentle reader, the mindless masses do exactly what they are told, and rent everything that was released in the last 6 months! What is UP with that?!?! Top 5 are as follows:

1. Crash
2. The Departed
3. Mr. and Mrs. Smith
4. Walk the Line
5. Little Miss Sunshine

Okay, I’m not saying that these aren’t fine films (well, maybe I’m saying that about ‘Mr. & Mrs. Smith’) but why must the populace confine themselves to the same films that line Blockbuster Video shelves by the score? Simple brainwashing, I’m guessing. TV advertising at work. And for putting ‘Mr. & Mrs. Smith’ up there in lights, I’m awarding Netflix users the first ever GOLDEN SHEEP AWARD!!! (proudly displayed to the left) This award celebrates the grazing herds of this world…shear yourselves bare, Netflix Top 100 voters, you deserve it!

Okay, so since I’m so much better than everyone else, I’m going to recommend 10 movies you absolutely better have seen before you can rent garbage like ‘Mr. & Mrs. Smith’!!

1. Citizen Kane (snobby but good)
2. Rushmore
3. This is Spinal Tap
4. Clue
5. Blade Runner
6. Shine
7. Grave of the Fireflies
8. Shaun of the Dead
9. Rear Window (and it better be the Hitchcock version)
10. Brazil

Not necessarily in that order, are some of the best films available on DVD. Not all of them are serious films, but all are exceptional for different reasons. Once you can see those reasons, and appreciate them, you graduate to being able to give an honest opinion of most new releases. Bottom line….new is not necessarily improved.