Oh advertisers! You rascals, you! Yep, another random commercial caught my eye. This time it was one of those annoying “movin’ picture” ads you see on websites that are (thankfully) muted until you click on them. Man! If those weren’t muted they would be more annoying than regular TV ads that are (for reasons I can’t fathom) at double the decibel level of regular TV programming. But I digress.
Anyhoo, it’s a new and innovative product from our friends at LYSOL®! I couldn’t find the exact ad, but here’s a similar one for the same product:
Cool! You know, I’m as worried about germs as the next guy. I probably wash my hands 8-10 times a day! I’m downright compulsive about it! And, hey howdy, do they ever raise a good point! I never considered how many filthy, disgusting hands might be pressing down on my soap dispenser! Seriously, when do people push on a soap dispenser? Right after…..you know! And also after…EEEW! I mean…you could be getting some NASTY stuff on your hands every time you go to…wash…uh…wash your…
I’ll admit it, I don’t get activism. I don’t get the modern charity ideal. Today is Earth Day, and being one of the world of Twits, I joined countless internet slacktivists in making vague meaningless statements about the earth on Twitter. Actually, that’s not true, I tried pointing my measly group of followers to the EPA website that directs people to green energy providers in their state. No doubt it didn’t get much attention, and whatever…no biggie. What bugged me were the things that do get attention. There was some touting of a climate rally, much re-tweeting of a “how green are you” poll, and some talk of websites like this one where you are encouraged to buy a bracelet and get water to dying children (not that it has anything to do with Earth Day, but whatever).
Saving the world one fad at a time.
Now I have nothing against these causes, let me be clear. It’s all well and good. What I wonder about is the nature of activism in America. It all seems inextricably linked with commerce. If you aren’t being basically guilted into going to a TV or corporate website to be sold their products, you’re basically just buying something for status or fun and being told that a portion goes to something. Why doesn’t a corporation just donate their product to the needy group? Nope, sorry, they have to donate one thingy they plan to donate for every widget you buy!! Look at Lance Armstrong’s yellow bracelet fad….there was a time when it was a must-have fashion accessory, but why couldn’t the money to make those bracelets have just gone to the cause instead of only a portion? Yeah, yeah, human nature…economics, advertising, blah, blah.
What about the rallies? Are they really convincing anyone, or just making people feel like they have control. Sometimes (like with tea party rallies) I hope it’s just the latter. But then make it a big event. Get the celebrities to show up! Get the corporations to donate free widgets for the attendees! Get politicians! Get Sting to sing a song! Make signs and chant chants! But in the end, what’s been changed? You’ve rallied for the environment, and maybe got some media attention. But what if each of those 50,000 attendees just went to the EPA website and told their electric company that they only wanted to buy green energy? What if they each got 2 friends to do the same? What if those corporate sponsors switched their companies to only green energy? Or what if they invested in green tech for their corporate offices and factories? Or what if they encouraged their employees to do the same? Or if they used that cash to pay the difference in price for every employee who switched?
Yep…Valentine’s Day approaches. A wonderful day that’s all about the very personal sense of love and caring that intimate companions hold for one another. But there’s a problem. A wrench has been thrown in the proverbial holiday works! People everywhere face a huge dilemma, because they cannot properly celebrate this love! This year, Valentine’s Day falls on (dun dun DUN)…a SUNDAY!!!!
So why is this an issue? Why indeed. Today, as I came into work, I found a flower delivery person waiting at the security desk. He had no fewer than 20 bouquets standing around him, on the floor and at the desk, as security tried to contact the recipients of his parcels. I thought to myself that it was funny that so many were getting flowers at once, and then said, “Oh yeah! Valentine’s Day!” Continue reading »
Okay, I’ll confess…I don’t usually watch a lot of TV. Broadcast TV, that is; I’m certainly a TV on DVD junkie. I’ve been this way for some time, mostly because I’m a cheap bastard and I don’t want to pay for cable. Partly, though, I’ve found myself becoming more and more averse to the broadcast and cable television format. You know: the shallow programming, the veneer of caring for the customer, the shameless self-promotion. And let’s not forget the condescending and manipulative advertising! Suffice it to say, I’ve been content to avoid TV for some time. Well, sure enough, separation breeds detachment, and visiting TV periodically found me more and more amazed by what I saw.
Recently I’ve been finding some fairly fun (read “free”) content on Hulu, and as a result have found myself subject to the whims of advertisers once more. It’s not so terribly bad, I mean, the commercials aren’t as frequent as on regular TV. They show about four 30 second commercials per show, spaced at normal intervals…and it’s often the same ad over and over. So that’s fine, but I’m finding myself studying the weird world of Madison Avenue once again. What are they saying about their viewers? Is it a reflection of societies views about itself? Are we as ugly as we portray ourselves? Or are we being manipulated?
If one more person tells me that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, I’ll kick them right in the Nut-n-Honey! I put it to you, Morton Kondracke, that breakfast isn’t any more important than any other meal! Yeah, yeah, “it gives you fuel for the day!” Whatever. Maybe I prefer to idle quietly in the morning, rather than spin donuts around the track! (No pun intended on the breakfast/donut quip.) Or, maybe I prefer to sleep through breakfast and get up around lunchtime? Does that occur to you Mister Breakfast Pants?
I do have to say, that there are certain things I miss about breakfast. Namely, the sugary breakfast cereal! I don’t recall a better childhood memory than watching Saturday morning cartoons with a bowl full of sugary milk, tinted pink from my Apple Jacks! Yum! But why, Mom, why…was I never allowed to get Cookie Crisp cereal?!!?! “You are not going to eat a cereal that’s nothing but miniature chocolate chip cookies, young man!” In the spirit of breakfast marketing everywhere, I present the guys from MST3k:
Yes, they are hilarious. Actually, I’ve always been impressed by this as an actual commercial. It’s quite good! Oh, and it’s even funnier if you’ve seen the movie, Wild Rebels, that they’re talking about (join us).
**Okay, so maybe I need to unpack this one a bit for people who might not “get it.” In this episode of MST3k, the cult TV show, they’re watching the film Wild Rebels, which is a cheesy 1960s-vintage biker flick. One of the evil hells angel type bikers is mute because “he got hit on the back of the head by a surfboard,” hence the “surfboard of flavor” joke from Joel. The names they reel off are members of the biker gang. Heh heh…it’s FUNNY!
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