So, you’ve heard the craaaazy news, right? It’s all over the place! Yes, friends, Wonder Woman is changing her look, and it is serious business! There are stories in the Washington Post, The Boston Herald, and the L.A. Times to name a few! What? It’s not like there’s anything more important to be talking about. Which is why I’m going to blather on about it here!!

Folks are up in arms about the costume change. Some say, why mess with success. Others say what’s the big deal? Some think it will reinvigorate the series. Others say it’s awfully cold fighting crime in a silk teddy. So what does this new hero look like?

80s Wonder Woman? No..it's 80s REVIVAL Wonder Woman

So, there it is. The amazing Amazonian warrior princess is scrapping her old digs for some new threads. She’s ditching the bustiér that barely contains her considerable cleavage, and trading up for some too-tight black pants, and a jacket with the sleeves pushed up. It’s a daring new look! Except for that it isn’t new at all. That’s really my only beef with it. It’s 1982 all over again.  Seriously people…costume changes are fine, but do we need to buy the costume at American Apparel?!? I hate the 80s fashion revival!!

Don’t think it’s 80s? Okay….picture the jacket as yellow, and a pair of pink sunglasses pushed up in her hair, and we pretty much have any member of Jem and the Holograms, or to be fair….Jubilee.

I see this “new and improved” look, with the too-tight black jeans and I feel compelled to think of Joan Jett. Now, don’t get me wrong! Joan Jett was totally rad, in her 80s rocker-chick way, but in the 80s! It’s 2010 now, right? Come on! I can only be glad that they ditched the more butch characteristics of the Amazonian that she had in the very early drawings…else we might have the return of Hollywood Montrose!

Let’s be honest, folks. Of all the things cool about the 80s, fashion ain’t on the list! Are these the 80s images we want to influence the look of a hero? There’s really only one 80s persona that it’s appropriate for Wonder Woman to emulate. She’s awesome, and she’s got the look we want. Join our team!!!

                          

But, wait. It’s not Valentine’s Day. Surely, that special day doesn’t fall for two more days. So why, I wondered, would someone deliver flowers to someone at work…two days early? Why not pick them up and deliver them personally…on VALENTINES DAY? Perhaps over an intimate dinner? Perhaps with morning coffee in bed? Why send them to work so that your spouse (or whatever) has to then carry the flowers all the way home on the subway or train? What an inconvenience!

Of course, we all know it doesn’t work that way. Valentine’s Day isn’t about a special personal love held between two people. It’s about conspicuous acts of affection and courtship meant as a display for everyone. Like holding hands in public, it is a way to announce to the world that “I got mine….and here he/she is.” All the better if that announcement can be combined with some gloating that your significant other is buying you hundred dollar bouquets, or taking you out for expensive meals at fancy restaurants. It might even be okay if he just does something very sweet and thoughtful for you….as long as you can tell the world about it on Facebook or something.

Don’t deny it….search your feelings. We all know why you really wanted those cheap-o valentines in third grade…because the one with the most got bragging rights.

                          

Recently I’ve been finding some fairly fun (read “free”) content on Hulu, and as a result have found myself subject to the whims of advertisers once more. It’s not so terribly bad, I mean, the commercials aren’t as frequent as on regular TV. They show about four 30 second commercials per show, spaced at normal intervals…and it’s often the same ad over and over. So that’s fine, but I’m finding myself studying the weird world of Madison Avenue once again. What are they saying about their viewers? Is it a reflection of societies views about itself? Are we as ugly as we portray ourselves? Or are we being manipulated?

Perhaps you’ve seen this Dodge Charger ad. It’s been rattling in my head for a bit. It’s hard for it not to, since Hulu has been showing it over and over and over and over…(and knitting…and knitting)!! I can’t help wondering what this commercial is telling us about the modern male? He’s repressed, obviously. He’s unfulfilled. He stares blankly at the camera with the look of a sedated mental patient. We learn from the voice-over, that he is hen-pecked. He does everything that his horrible Nurse Rachet of a wife tells him to do. Beneath the surface he boils with rage and resentment. He doesn’t like putting his underwear in a hamper. He longs for a fruit-free breakfast! Most of all, he wishes that his wife and his wife’s friends would accept his own friends, but alas it cannot be! No man can truly like his wife’s mother, and no woman will ever get up early to walk the dog! It is the bizarre Madison Avenue world, where men only pretend to like women so that they can be allowed to drive loud cars.

Okay, I’m not entirely without testosterone. When the car finally makes an appearance, it hits upon a primal urge to drive a super rad car with a throaty growl and a Knight Rider air of mystery. But why would I need to kiss up to my wife to be allowed to drive it? And who says I’ll only clean the sink after I shave if there’s a 250 hp performance automobile in it for me down the road? Is this ad a horrible caricature of men, or is it holding up a mirror to it’s target demographic? Worst of all, could it be shaping men’s perceptions of themselves?

                          

He was a little crass at times, but the world needs more outspoken atheists like that.

You’ll be missed, George.

                          

No, gentle reader, the mindless masses do exactly what they are told, and rent everything that was released in the last 6 months! What is UP with that?!?! Top 5 are as follows:

1. Crash
2. The Departed
3. Mr. and Mrs. Smith
4. Walk the Line
5. Little Miss Sunshine

Okay, I’m not saying that these aren’t fine films (well, maybe I’m saying that about ‘Mr. & Mrs. Smith’) but why must the populace confine themselves to the same films that line Blockbuster Video shelves by the score? Simple brainwashing, I’m guessing. TV advertising at work. And for putting ‘Mr. & Mrs. Smith’ up there in lights, I’m awarding Netflix users the first ever GOLDEN SHEEP AWARD!!! (proudly displayed to the left) This award celebrates the grazing herds of this world…shear yourselves bare, Netflix Top 100 voters, you deserve it!

Okay, so since I’m so much better than everyone else, I’m going to recommend 10 movies you absolutely better have seen before you can rent garbage like ‘Mr. & Mrs. Smith’!!

1. Citizen Kane (snobby but good)
2. Rushmore
3. This is Spinal Tap
4. Clue
5. Blade Runner
6. Shine
7. Grave of the Fireflies
8. Shaun of the Dead
9. Rear Window (and it better be the Hitchcock version)
10. Brazil

Not necessarily in that order, are some of the best films available on DVD. Not all of them are serious films, but all are exceptional for different reasons. Once you can see those reasons, and appreciate them, you graduate to being able to give an honest opinion of most new releases. Bottom line….new is not necessarily improved.