“Harmlessly passing your time in the grassland away…only dimly aware of a certain unease in the air.”

-Pink Floyd 'Sheep'

“Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness.”

-James Thurber

I’ll admit it, I don’t get activism. I don’t get the modern charity ideal. Today is Earth Day, and being one of the world of Twits, I joined countless internet slacktivists in making vague meaningless statements about the earth on Twitter. Actually, that’s not true, I tried pointing my measly group of followers to the EPA website that directs people to green energy providers in their state. No doubt it didn’t get much attention, and whatever…no biggie. What bugged me were the things that do get attention. There was some touting of a climate rally, much re-tweeting of a “how green are you” poll, and some talk of websites like this one where you are encouraged to buy a bracelet and get water to dying children (not that it has anything to do with Earth Day, but whatever).

Saving the world one fad at a time.

Now I have nothing against these causes, let me be clear. It’s all well and good. What I wonder about is the nature of activism in America. It all seems inextricably linked with commerce. If you aren’t being basically guilted into going to a TV or corporate website to be sold their products, you’re basically just buying something for status or fun and being told that a portion goes to something. Why doesn’t a corporation just donate their product to the needy group? Nope, sorry, they have to donate one thingy they plan to donate for every widget you buy!!  Look at Lance Armstrong’s yellow bracelet fad….there was a time when it was a must-have fashion accessory, but why couldn’t the money to make those bracelets have just gone to the cause instead of only a portion? Yeah, yeah, human nature…economics, advertising, blah, blah.

What about the rallies? Are they really convincing anyone, or just making people feel like they have control. Sometimes (like with tea party rallies) I hope it’s just the latter. But then make it a big event. Get the celebrities to show up! Get the corporations to donate free widgets for the attendees! Get politicians! Get Sting to sing a song! Make signs and chant chants! But in the end, what’s been changed? You’ve rallied for the environment, and maybe got some media attention. But what if each of those 50,000 attendees just went to the EPA website and told their electric company that they only wanted to buy green energy? What if they each got 2 friends to do the same? What if those corporate sponsors switched their companies to only green energy? Or what if they invested in green tech for their corporate offices and factories? Or what if they encouraged their employees to do the same? Or if they used that cash to pay the difference in price for every employee who switched?

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Okay, so I recently read a blurb about how The Golden Compass was nominated for two oscars, one for Achievement in Visual Effects and another for Achievement in Art Direction. Of course, winning will require that it beat out the likes of the Pirates of the Carribean franchise and the Transformers mega-phenomenon. I’m mostly waiting to hear the outcry from religious groups that the academy would support such a blasphemy. You see, The Golden Compass was neatly trounced, at least domestically where only 20% of it’s total box office dollars were made, by the Catholic League upon it’s initial release. Obviously, foreign audiences aren’t as culled by the church as their American bretheren.

Clearly this is godless cinema.

I have to say that I’m holding my breath to see some news coverage about the bias of the Narnia series. There’s another one coming out soon, as if the first wasn’t bad enough, I think it’s called Prince Caspian. I can’t wait to hear major media outlets heaping scorn on it for subversively trying to make our kids believe in god. Ha! That’ll be the day!

Actually, from what I’ve heard, Prince Caspian is actually one of the least allegorical C.S. Lewis’ Narnia novels, but I’m sure the Religious Right will use it… as a brainwashing tool nonetheless. Evidenced by this cover of a Christian magazine, which has the gall to speak about a fantasy novelist as a purveyor of the “truth!” Nice.

Well, I’m sure this will be ignored, and Atheists will sit by quietly as the Catholic League shows off their hypocrisy to blind masses. Ironic, I think, that this demonstration of the ‘golden rule’ will show so favorably for the godless. Of course I can’t resist , in an article so filled with “golden” things (rules, compasses…er…compii?), giving a ‘Golden Sheep Award‘ to the American Moviegoing Public. Good of them to so dutifully obey their church overseers.

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Okay, so I don’t claim to be the epitome of art house snobbery, but Netflix Top 100 pisses me right off! Let us say, hypothetically, that we are given the ability to watch any movie ever made at a moment’s notice. What film would the masses choose? Perhaps they would insist on scrutinizing a film legend, Like Citizen Kane? Maybe they might review the films of Stanley Kubrick? Maybe they would go back and search the vast catalogues of history and find an unseen gem?!?

No, gentle reader, the mindless masses do exactly what they are told, and rent everything that was released in the last 6 months! What is UP with that?!?! Top 5 are as follows:

1. Crash
2. The Departed
3. Mr. and Mrs. Smith
4. Walk the Line
5. Little Miss Sunshine

Okay, I’m not saying that these aren’t fine films (well, maybe I’m saying that about ‘Mr. & Mrs. Smith’) but why must the populace confine themselves to the same films that line Blockbuster Video shelves by the score? Simple brainwashing, I’m guessing. TV advertising at work. And for putting ‘Mr. & Mrs. Smith’ up there in lights, I’m awarding Netflix users the first ever GOLDEN SHEEP AWARD!!! (proudly displayed to the left) This award celebrates the grazing herds of this world…shear yourselves bare, Netflix Top 100 voters, you deserve it!

Okay, so since I’m so much better than everyone else, I’m going to recommend 10 movies you absolutely better have seen before you can rent garbage like ‘Mr. & Mrs. Smith’!!

1. Citizen Kane (snobby but good)
2. Rushmore
3. This is Spinal Tap
4. Clue
5. Blade Runner
6. Shine
7. Grave of the Fireflies
8. Shaun of the Dead
9. Rear Window (and it better be the Hitchcock version)
10. Brazil

Not necessarily in that order, are some of the best films available on DVD. Not all of them are serious films, but all are exceptional for different reasons. Once you can see those reasons, and appreciate them, you graduate to being able to give an honest opinion of most new releases. Bottom line….new is not necessarily improved.

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